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19 June 2011 @ 02:24 pm
I spy Cristina in the locker room, changing out of her scrubs. I walk in and close the door behind me. I've been looking for all day and I haven't been able to find her. Now I have the chance to tell her what Lexie told me and I can tell Cristina how I really feel...even if I'm not sure how I really feel about the situation.

"You'll never guess what Lexie told me today."
 
 
16 June 2011 @ 07:49 pm
I need a larger team for this skin grafting case and I know the only way that I'm going to get it done is through Addison- something I'm not looking forward to. At all. The girl is ready though and I have the donor tissue. I have more than enough time.

I just need the space.

Taking in a deep breathe, I knock on the door to her office and wait.

There's no way we'll be able to keep this strictly professional.
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16 June 2011 @ 07:45 pm
Nothing really hurts and I'm not sleepy all the time. I don't know what gives. I don't know why somebody couldn't help me with this before. I push my hair out of my face and look out the window. It's raining. Again. And I'd rather be out in it than in this stupid hospital room.

One of the doctors come into my room and I sit up a little straighter. At least it's not that bitchy girl one. I don't like her.
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16 June 2011 @ 08:11 pm
After I prep Dr. Sloane's second patient of the day, I check in on Mrs. Sandler and make a few quick notes in her chart. Things are relatively slow at the moment and although being on plastics is beginning to get tedious, it's still oddly enjoyable. Working with Aubrey is obviously an added bonus, which makes work a little more interesting.

I spot Lexie by the nurses station and it's been a while since we've had a chance to catch up properly. I know Aubrey doesn't love that I'm friends with Lexie but there's nothing to make an issue of. "Lunch?" I ask, as walk up beside her, flashing her a grin.

I hope she's ready; I'm starving and even though the cafeteria food sucks, it's better than nothing.
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21 May 2011 @ 04:37 pm
It's almost lunch time which will give Aubrey and I the perfect chance to talk and see if we can get anything further figured out involving the baby. We are running short on time. We need to get a plan in place before it's too late and we are scrambling.

I spy her sitting at the nurses station, clicking away at the computer. I walk over to the counter and set my hands down, leaning over. "Wanna grab lunch pretty lady?" I ask with a smile.

I don't want to fight. I just want to know that her and my son will be taken care of when the time comes.
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13 May 2011 @ 11:28 am
It was nice waking up with Derek this morning, even if it was a little earlier than normal because his daughter was awake before the birds were even singing. I sat and made faces at her while he fed her breakfast, and I kept an eye on her for him when he took a shower. I know I'm not ready for my own kids, but this might be ok. He doesn't see her that often anyway.

We head our separate ways to continue to avoid suspicion, and I have an unsettled feeling in my stomach due to the terrifying conversation I'm about to have with my sister. I know she'll be angry. I know she'll hate me. I just hope it doesn't last forever. And I hope Derek is worth it. If we break up in three hours, it will all be for nothing, and I won't have anyone. That thought makes me hesitate as I buy her coffee and breakfast. Maybe I shouldn't tell her.

But if she finds out from someone else, that will be unbearably worse.

I head up to our unit, and I walk up behind her. "Morning. Can I talk to you privately?" I just have to do it. Tell her. Rip the band-aid off before I lose my nerve.
 
 
13 May 2011 @ 11:21 am
It's way too early in the morning on a Saturday, and the eviction notice has been served. I want this kid out now. The lungs are developed enough where he or she should be fine. I don't think it's selfish. I've donated a lot of time to this kid, and now I want my body back. I want things to stop hurting and stop feeling squished. I want to be able to lean and pick something up without teetering over because my sense of balance is nonexistent. I think I've decided that I want it to be a girl because I can't deal with another Derek in my life.

I grab the chart to see how my burn patient did overnight, and review it at the nurses' station far away from her room. She has got to be my least favorite patient, even compared to the one who almost gave me HIV. That's how much I can't stand her.
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11 May 2011 @ 12:12 pm
I hand Lexie my keys and tell her to go on inside while I open the back door and smile at Ana sleeping in her car seat. I undo her harness and gently pull her from the seat, laying her head against my shoulder. This little girl has my heart and there is no denying that. Especially when she begs for a princess costume and she gets it. I'm sure Addison already has something for her to wear to the party, but she can play with this one over here.

I make my way towards the house and when I get in the door, I pull Ana's shoes off her feet and drop them onto the floor before continuing towards her room. I lay her down in her crib and remove her glasses. "I love you princess," I whisper as I tuck her blanket around her.

I set her glasses on the dresser and turn her night light on before shutting the door about half way. "Well that was a fun evening," I say to Lexie.
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10 May 2011 @ 01:49 pm
I comb over the paperwork again, double-checking the spreadsheet I created and still coming up short. We are so over budget, and part of the problem is I can't get my employees to leave. Why won't they go home to their families? I could stay here for 20 hours a day and still have work to do, but at some point, I have to go home to my kids. And that's exactly what I should be doing right now.

I pile the papers up and start to go through them again. I have to figure this out before King notices. I need to trim the fat without laying anyone off, and that seems nearly impossible. But if I leave it up to administration, they'll destroy my department. Those morons have no idea what they're doing. And if we start losing nurses, we're screwed.

The pressure starts to get to me, and I groan in frustration and reach for my hidden bag of M&Ms. I quickly realize that these aren't going to cut it. I need a nice glass of wine. I grab my cellphone, but quickly dismiss every name that pops into my head. I'm really running low in the friend department. I have to get out of this hospital more.

Eventually, against my better judgement, I text Hunt and ask him if he'd like to get a drink with me at Joe's. How bad could it be?
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13 March 2011 @ 02:54 pm
I walk up towards my office, leaving Cristina to do some prep work before our next surgery. This morning was a nice change and hopefully this evening will be more of the same. I drop my briefcase down and check my messages before I head up to Derek's office to ask him about this evening. I should probably warn him that Meredith may be coming, but hopefully that shouldn't be a problem.

As I'm waiting for the elevator, I get a page down to the ER and I sigh as I head down there quickly. I hope Hunt allows me get on with what he wants me to do without interfering this time.

After I deal with the patient and get them stabilized, I grab a couple of cups of coffee and head up to Derek's office. I've got a quarter of an hour before my next surgery so I'm hoping he won't take much convincing. I knock on his office door before I enter and see him busy charting so I'm sure he'll welcome the distraction.
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